he stopped thinking a long time ago
by samurai's wind
Summary: Renton stopped thinking, he couldn't remember when but he did. no pairing rated M for cussing, but not that much


Dis: I don't own the characters.

sorry if any mistakes.. Enjoy!

* * *

"why the hell can't you do anything right?" Holland yelled harshly at the brown haired teen, who was currently looking towards the Floor.

Eureka, who was holding her bandaged arm, looked at Holland, "it wasn't his fault, Holland, leave him alone."

The tone. The tone of her voice made Renton want to puke. The 'they-believe-me-over-you' tone, she did it, not Renton, but he was the only witness. Besides if he tried to tell them she did it, Hap wouldn't be able to keep Holland back from kicking Renton's ass.

Holland pulled him up by his hair and slung him towards the door, "get out of here, I don't want to see your face anymore tonight." he spat.

Renton got up and walked out the door, only to be pushed back by Maeter and Linck.

"get out the way loser." the small blonde yelled as the door opened and they walked in. Renton faintly hearing Holland tell her she did a good job since he hurt their momma.

Maurice walked up slowly and asked softly, "are you ok?" Renton stared at him then nodded, "yeah, thanks for asking." he got up and patted the dark hair, "thanks." and walked away.

It was always like this, everything would be going good and they would actually talk to Renton, complement him, and Eureka would get jealous. She hated that once they started talking to him she would have Holland and Gidget to talk to.

Like they all didn't go out of their way to see her or talk to her. A drama always-wanting-attention-on-her queen.

Renton went back to his room and laid down, what was he doing? Going threw all this verbal abuse for? What was the point? Who was it for? Eureka? Holland? To prove to Holland he could do something right? he doesn't even remember anymore.

He stopped trying to remember a long time ago, sadly, he gave up. But giving up or not, if he left he would be a coward and if he stayed he would go threw this all the time.

He couldn't think, he only starts to think again just he's drifting off in a peaceful sleep. when did he stop thinking and when did he start letting Holland and them made the decisions for him? That one question puzzled him.

He couldn't remember.

The next morning Renton got up and walked into the kitchen, Hilda was sitting with the three children. Renton smiled which caused him to get a face full of eggs, "get out of here." came Linck's small but mean remark.

Renton turned on his heels and walked out, only to hear Hilda telling him, he should aimed for his jacket so Renton would have to wash it all day and they wouldn't have to see his face.

By the time they crossed a small military base some LFO's had caught up to them. Holland called Eureka, Matthieu, Hilda, and Renton.

Eureka and Renton buckled into the Nirvash. While Matthieu buckled into the Terminus type R606 and Hilda in the Terminus type R808 and they went out.

It was easy, the first two that was.

Matthieu took care of the third one while Hilda took care of the next two that came.

Eureka being Eureka took over all controls, making Renton yell at her.

"what are you doing?? Eureka??" he screamed trying to get the controls back so he could pilot and get them back up in the air and not landing, no sorry, crashing right into ground.

"shut up and have some fun." she laughed in malice laced voice, "you know you want the attention, Renton don't lie to your self." she smirked as they came closer and closer to the ground.

Renton flipped on the intercom, that she had turned off, without knowing it, "Eureka? Eureka please stop it." he screamed

"lets have some fun Renton." she laughed again, something similar to The Joker, only worser.

"Eureka.." he screamed as they came crashing down into the red and orange dirt.

Renton being his 'usual dumb self' as Holland so kindly put it, got back in the LFO with Eureka and her crazy ass, why may you ask, because Holland threatened to quote, "fucking gut you like a fucking pig.."

After screaming and pleaded with her to stop Renton remember seeing the ground a little to close for his taste. He felt a pain in his left leg and left arm, but hey, lets face it they don't care about him all they care about it Eureka.

Is Eureka safe? Eureka are you feeling better? Eureka you need a glass of water? Eureka don't worry about it Renton will pick up the glass so you don't cut yourself. Eureka get some rest, Renton, you clean the rest of this mess up.

He was so tired of hear Eureka this, Eureka that. What was so important about her? What was the difference between them? Was it because she's girl and he's boy? Was it because he's Diane's little brother? Was that why Holland hated him so much?

He didn't know, he didn't want to know or think right at that moment. He was in too much pain, god he thought he felt pain whenever they hit him or threw something at him but this was agonizing.

"Eureka.." a faint voice called out.

Great joy, they're coming for Eureka to make sure she was alright and not hurt. Why would they come to see if he was alright? He was nothing to them but a punching bag.

His heart clinched, if he was to be a called a coward then so be it, but he wasn't about to stay and let her blame him for this. He felt like shit and he was having trouble moving his left arm.

"Eureka." the voice sounded closer, and sounded like a man, Holland.. Renton made his arching body work over time to get away from the man. Holland would kill him.

Moving off the thoroughly bent and scratched up Nirvash, what the hell was Eureka thinking?, he lifted himself up and slowly walked 2 steps before falling, he groaned this was going to be harder than he thought.

"they're going to blame you." came the female voice, faint but loud and fully awake.

"shut the fuck up I don't care anymore." Renton hissed standing up and trying to walked again on the red-orange colored dirt, he got farther, a total of 8 steps before he had to stop and take a breather.

"Eureka?" the voice grew closer and Renton started moving again, this time fast and this time not stopping for gasps of air like he did 12 steps ago.

"Holland?" Eureka made her voice sound scared and fearful, but by then Renton was about 50 feet away from the crash site limping away. Boy where they taking their time.

"Eureka.." Holland climbed the Nirvash along with Talho and Hap.

"what happen?" Talho asked

"Re-Renton." she cried fearfully again, "he-he was still mad about last night and this morning. He took over and drove us down. Holland he crashed the Nirvash."

"I'll get the little fucker." Holland said threw gritted teeth, mentally thinking she was a really good actor.

Eureka point in the direction the blood was leading, faintly hearing Eureka's voice, "I tried to stop him but he said he didn't care anymore and went on anyways."

Renton sighed, he couldn't go back now, it made him look even more guiltier, but his whole left side was aching and burning. And he knew the blood loss was going to get to him sooner or later.

He saw a ditch, he groaned for the second time, but not from the pain. there was no possible way he could make it down there without messing something else up AND there was no possible way he could climb the 6 foot ditch to get up the other side either.

He turned to his left and right seeing no other way. if they weren't coming after him, he wouldn't have to do that. Instead he could just lay down and die of blood loss. He grinned at the headlines 'the great Adroc Thurston's only son Renton Thurston was found dead… of blood loss.'

He laughed, no sorry, he tried to laughed which resulted in him groaned and grabbing his left side. "Renton.."

He turned around so fast someone would have thought his head was back backwards. He saw Holland about 10 feet from him.

Holland took a step and Renton made a quick choice and dropped to his butt and slid down the ditch that was all dirt and rock. and it hurt like hell..

"whoa." Holland shouted, sliding on his feet to catch Renton, "whoa Renton stop."

Holland wrapped his arm around the boy's waist to stop him from trying to move. "stop it." Holland yelled

"no, I'm not going back. It wasn't my fault. I'm sorry Holland." he cried trying to get away from the older LFO pilot.

Holland let him fall. was this what he had done, the boy was laying flat on his stomach right arm above his hand clenching the dirt, trying to move away from him.

His left arm and leg weren't moving anymore, nerve damage probably, and he was still trying to get away from him.

Holland looked at his hands, which had a little of Renton's blood on it, he _had_ done this hadn't he? Renton was, no, _is_ scared of him. Even like that.

Holland walked towards Renton's trying-to-escape form, which caused the boy to try and move quicker, even thought he was hardly moving at all anyways. A turtle could go faster than Renton at the moment.

Holland picked him up and carried him back up the ditch, "hang on, alright? When we get back to the ship Mischa will have a look at you."

He felt Renton flitch against him at the 'when he get back to the ship' part. He sighed, "nothings going to happen to you now." Holland was trying to make Renton see, see they weren't going to hurt him anymore, but he just wouldn't stop flinching.

The whole walk back was silent.

Everyone had gone back to the ship and the only thing there was Holland's LFO the Terminus typeR909, he got in and put Renton in his lap. And again the boy flinched.

They were back at the ship before Renton knew it, but hell, everything was getting dark and blurry. He knew it was the lack of blood, he knew he might die, Holland doesn't care that much about Renton to rush him to Mischa and give Renton his blood.

Holland looked down, "Renton? Renton wake up." he yelled, Matthieu ran threw the door and saw Holland getting out of the tpyeR909 half his side covered in blood. He glanced at Renton in his arms and ran.

He ran straight to Mischa and told her about Renton. She followed Matthieu out only to be greeted by Holland right down the hall, she gasped and went back in the room to repair the room.

Holland laid him down, the boy looked so pale from his usual tan skin. "Mischa hurry up." Holland shouted as he put pressure to Renton's shoulder.

"Holland I need you to leave." she stated, "I'm not leaving him now." said threw gritted teeth as Mischa started doing something to stop the blood and Matthieu pulled him out the door. They both watched as it closed.

Holland pulled away from his friend and hit the wall, "you should have seen him, he was trying to crawl away from me with only his right arm and leg. He looked so pitiful. Is that what I done to him?"

The last question was more to himself then Matthieu, who only stared at his leader.

Talho and Moondoggie ran down the hall with Hilda and Maurice in tow.

The girl stopped and so did the others, Maurice looked at Holland's face, his clothes, how he was sitting against the wall with his legs pulled his stomach.

"is-is Renton going to-to die?" he asked, Talho looked down at him and smiled softly, "you should be getting some rest. Go to sleep. when he's awake we'll come and get you."

He shook his head, Renton tried so hard to make them happy. So hard and none of it was ever appreciated, they treated him like a dog. A dog that wouldn't leave and now that dog might die and they're all bent out of shape?? What is wrong with them? was all the boy could think.

--

His body felt heavy but at least it wasn't burning anymore, a small ach, but that was it. 'I much be at the ship' he concluded he opened his eyes, nope sorry, he tried to open his eyes.

like the rest of his body, they felt heavy. And even if he did, he would only see the disappointed faces of Holland, Talho, Mischa, Hap and the others.

Then that smirking face, Eureka..

Oh how he would love to strangle the blue haired girl, but couldn't because as soon as he opened his eyes Holland was going to beat the shit out of him then kill him. No wait Holland might wait until he's all better _than _beat the shit out of him and kill him.

Renton, either way, didn't like those two choices, so he decided he was going to get up and walk out of the room and go to his room, get his board, and leave the ship.

He was no coward but this, this was impossible to deal with. A manic girl trying to kill you, hurting herself and blaming you, it was too much he isn't going to stay any longer. He finally made his mind up.

After a few minutes he finally opened his eyes Renton looked around the room, no one was there with a baseball bat or knife, maybe they had better things to do than killing him? 'hopefully.' he thought drily.

he eyes wondered for a few more minutes, thanks to the blurriness clearing up, he could see. his blue eyes widen when they landed on Holland sitting on the right side of his bed in a chair, Shit he really wanted to hit Renton didn't he? camping out beside the boy's bed, waiting for him to wake up, Holland takes this too seriously.

And there was no doubt in Renton's mind that Eureka hadn't already said _he_ crashed the Nirvash. He sighed and sat up, he looked fearfully around the room again after hearing a creak.

His eyes, once again, landed on Holland, who was still asleep only turning a little. He smiled gratefully and got up but as soon as he did he fell right on the dark, cold floor.

He whimpered and lifted himself up again, this time holding onto the bed for support. He grunted as the small ach from before because a huge ach, there is no fucking way he can fly on his board to get himself off the ship now.

Holland was in a nice sleep, a sleep where Eureka didn't depend on him as much, where Renton wasn't afraid of him, and where Talho wasn't questioning him. it was nice dream, anyways, his eyes snapped opened when he heard a thump.

He automatically sat up and saw Renton leaning against the bed while whimpering in pain as he tried to take a step.

"your gonna kill yourself that way." Holland spoke still a little groggy from his sleep.

Renton froze, 'damn he's up,' he turned around and looked that the older for a second before replying, "better I kill myself them let all of you."

The harshness in the 'all of you' part made Holland's heart clench, he really did do this. damn he just didn't understand why and it was bugging him.

"Renton, we'll let you go when you get better." he tried to speak softly "is that before or after you beat the shit out of me?" Renton whispered.

Holland's eyes fell to the floor, he wasn't going to beat Renton or yell at him anymore. They heard everything, the intercom was switched-on, Eureka had turned it off and Renton turned it back on.

"we-we heard you." Talho said softly, they finally noticed the door had opened it closed behind her and she grabbed Renton and pulled him into a hug, "we were so worried, Renton. Maurice didn't go to sleep until after Holland gave you a blood transfusion. you lost a lot of blood."

"Ma-Maurice?" Renton asked, "wh-why?" he stuttered. Damn he was confused, first they yell at him, Holland hits, kicks, and knees him, Talho slaps him after smarting off. Man he's confused.

"Renton, it's ok now." she said letting Holland have him, the old man picked him up and put the boy on the bed, "rest Renton." he spoke as he sat back down in the chair.

Renton felt the bed under him and knew Holland was going to drop him, but instead, Holland gently put him on the bed and told him to rest. Renton had half the mind to put his hand on Holland's forehead and cheeks to see if he had a fever.

But the pain was back and he was sleepy so he decided against it. He would leave when he got better.

"that's a promise." he spoke a loud.

* * *

love it, hate it, like it, not sure what to think. review and tell please.


End file.
